Accident Report
Published on Tuesday 30 September 2003
The following is taken from the government report entitled Home and Leisure Accident Surveillance, from the Department of Trade and Industry. It samples hospitals and multiplies up the numbers to give a figure for the nation as a whole.
It is with great difficulty that I announce this year's bad news; the danger from tea cosies has grown by eighty five per cent, the number of cases rising from 20 to 37. Also the menace from place mats has resulted in the number of accidents reported rising from 157 to 165. Other major causes for concern are trouser accidents (up to 5137 from 1945), hospitalisations caused by socks and tights (rising to 10773, up 930), and the tally of injuries inflicted by vegetables stands at an all time high of 13132. Tree trunks have been causing trouble, the number of cases also rising, this time to 1810 from 1777, quickly being caught up by leaves and bird baths, up to 1171 and 311 respectively.
These home dangers are counterbalance by the more promising picture of falling sponge accidents (down 209 to 787), fewer injuries caused by armchairs (2028 fewer this year, at 16662), which is put into perspective I think when one considers that meat cleavers caused 329 injuries, and rat poison 439. Other figures to report are injuries caused by clothes baskets (3421), dust pans (146), bread bins (91), talcum powder (73), toilet roll holders (329), clogs (622), false teeth (933) and wellington boots (5615). What should be of more concern to readers is that magazines were the cause of 4371 injuries, the toll for chainsaws standing at 1207.
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