Hungarian Cinderella
Published on Tuesday 30 September 2003
by Kath O'Neil, Helen Beardsley and Frances Haskell
N: Narrator US: Ugly Sisters C: Cinderella PC: Prince Charming FG: Fairy Godmother
The five actors stand in a line. Each one steps forward slowly and lethargically to say their lines once the person before them has stepped back. Each line is said with no emotion in a slow monotone, with none of the actors putting any expression into the words. The sketch should be disjointed but not boring - NEVER laugh at anything!
N: I am the Narrator.
PC: I am Prince Charming.
US: I am the Ugly Sisters.
C: I am Cinderella.
FG: I am the Fairy Godmother.
N: Once upon a time in the land of Never-Never and far beyond, just outside
Huddersfield, there lived a Prince Charming.
PC: I am Prince Charming.
N: And there lived the Ugly Sisters.
US: I am the Ugly Sisters.
N: And the Ugly Sister's sister, Cinderella.
C: I am Cinderella.
US: We are so exited; we are going to the Ball.
C: I am sad; I am not going to the Ball.
US: Cinderella, bring us our party frocks.
C: All right.
US: Cinderella, bring us our pop-socks.
C: All right.
US: Cinderella, bring us our glass eye.
C: All right.
US: We are so exited, we are going to dance with Prince Charming.
C: All right.
US: We are going to the Ball now.
C: All right.
US: Cinderella, stay here and do the washing up.
C: All right.
N: A little while later...
C: I am sad.
FG: Don't be sad, I am your Fairy Godmother.
C: Oh, you startled me.
FG: Why are you sad?
C: I am not going to the Ball.
FG: Oh yes you are.
C: Oh no I'm not.
FG: Oh yes you are.
C: Oh no I'm not.
FG: Oh yes you are.
C: All right.
FG: I will give you a pretty dress to wear...Ping.
C: Oh, it's beautiful.
FG: I will give you some pop-socks to wear...Ping.
C: All right.
FG: I will give you a glass...slipper to wear...Ping.
C: Thank you, I am so happy.
N: A little while later, at the Ball...
PC: I am Prince Charming, and I am so handsome.
C: You are so handsome.
PC: I know, I am going to dance with you.
C: All right.
US: We are jealous.
C: I am happy.
P
C: I am handsome.
F
G: I am the Fairy Godmother.
[all turn and look at FG]
FG: Sorry.
N: It was soon midnight. The clock began to strike...dong, dong, dong,
dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong...[starts to step back, then
comes forward again]...dong.
C: Oh, it is midnight. I must go now.
PC: All right. [slightly confused look]
N: She ran away.
C: Oh no, I have dropped my glass slipper, but I must go before my pop-socks
turn into pumpkins.
N: The next day...
US: We are so jealous.
C: I am so sad.
FG: I am the Fairy Godmother.
[all turn and look at FG]
FG: Sorry.
N: Then Prince Charming arrived at the house looking so handsome.
PC: I am so handsome.
US: You are so handsome.
PC: You are so ugly.
US: We know.
PC: I have brought a slipper - will you try it on?
US: It fits.
PC: No it doesn't.
US: Yes it does.
PC: No is doesn't.
US: All right.
PC: [to Cinderella] Will you try the slipper on?
C: All right.
PC: It fits.
C: I am so happy.
PC: I am so handsome I am going to marry you.
US: We are jealous.
PC: I am handsome.
C: I am happy.
FG: I am the Fairy Godmother.
ALL: [turn and look at FG] WE KNOW.
N: They all lived happily ever after. The end.
C: All right.
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