Some Thoughts
Published on Tuesday 30 September 2003
- Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
- If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
- The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
- I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self help section?" She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.
- If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
- If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
- Is there another word for synonym?
- Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
- What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
- If a turtle has no shell, is he homeless or naked?
- Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
- If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
- Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
- Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
- How is it possible to have a civil war?
- If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
- Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?
- Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of the song?
- If the black box on an aeroplane is never damaged during a plane crash, why don't they make the whole plane out of the stuff?
- If you spin an oriental in a circle three times, does he become disorientated?
And Finally...
- If you try to fail, and succeed, what have you done?
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