Supernatural Computing
Published on Tuesday 30 September 2003
Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going on at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all the bickering.
Finally, God said, "Cool it! I'm going to set up a test that will run for two hours and I'll judge who does the better job."
So Satan and Jesus sat down at their keyboards and typed away. They moused. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports. They sent faxes. They sent e-mail with attachments. They downloaded. They did some genealogy reports. They made birthday cards. They did every known job.
But ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured down and, of course, the electricity went off.
Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the Underworld. Jesus just sighed.
The electricity finally flickered back on and each of them restarted their computers.
Satan started searching frantically, screaming, "It's gone! It's all gone! I lost everything when the power went out! It's not fair!" Meanwhile, Jesus started printing out all of his files from the past two hours.
Satan observed this and became irate. "Wait! He cheated! He must have cheated! How did he manage that?"
God looked at him, shrugged, and said, "Jesus saves."
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14:15 30/09/03
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